Anyone who knows their way around a vagina knows the importance of clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is the core of a woman’s sexual pleasure, and it is essential to give it attention during a sexual encounter. It is possible, however, to pay too much attention to the clit. Some women, myself included, are extremely sensitive in this area. So sensitive, in fact, that direct stimulation can actually be uncomfortable, bordering on painful.
This is a conversation I need to have with Hansen.
Hansen loves going down on women, but he is very focused on the clit. His tongue hits that button and doesn’t stray for even a moment. I think even women who aren’t overly sensitive would like a little more variation. We like long licks, little flicks, circles, straight back and forth, flat tongue, pointed tongue…the list goes on. Focusing on one move, with one tongue formation, on one very direct spot may work for some women, but in general it’s not ideal. He also rarely uses his fingers. Insertion during pussy eating is a more variable preference, but I like it. A lot. Overall, I’m an insertion girl. I love having things inside of me. But, even when he’s only using his hands, Hansen focuses outside, on the clit. And again, it’s very uncomfortable.
I used to let him go down on me, despite the discomfort, because I know he likes it so much. But I found that I was concentrating really hard on not feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes it would be so uncomfortably intense that I would push him away or squirm away from him, but he probably thought I was trying not to come, and he powered on. When we did finally move on to sex, it became more and more difficult to come because I had gone from extreme discomfort straight into sex and…well…the sex never lasted long enough to get me where I wanted to go from an almost negative level of pleasure. Finally, I stopped letting him go down. I tried encouraging him to use his hands to warm me up, but soon found that his hand technique was equally as uncomfortable.
Lately, we’ve been moving from me stroking and/or sucking his cock straight into sex. Unfortunately, this means I’m not properly warmed up, and not wet enough for easy insertion. A quick squirt of lube is an easy fix, but I’m still starting from a very low level of stimulation and this means it will take me a little longer to reach climax. Unfortunately, Hansen almost never lasts long enough to get me there. He’s a very considerate lover, and I’m sure he’d be willing to continue pleasuring me after he comes, but what could he do, other than the two things I really don’t like? Instead, we just lay together and cuddle.
This could probably be resolved – or at least improved – with a simple conversation. Except, that kind of conversation isn’t very simple. How do you tell a guy you don’t like his warmup techniques and he doesn’t last long enough to please you? There’s nothing simple about that!
Unfortunately, the longer this problem goes the less I want to see him. We have a really great time hanging out, but I’m not motivated to get sexual and would rather he just go home at the end of the night. I really do think there would be potential for something more serious if we could get the sex thing worked out. I need to just get over my apprehension and talk to him.